Domestic Violence: The UnSeen

#dvawareness #domesticviolence #emotionalabuse #gaslighting #endthecycleofabuse #advocate #healthyrelationships #dvawarenessmonth #domesticviolenceawareness #sexualabuse #bbv #beautifubrokenvessels

“I miss you.” “When can I see you?” “You’re the air I breathe.” “I’ve never met anyone like you.”

These statements are endearing at first…until they’re not.

Texting non-stop. Seeing their name pop up on the phone. “Where are you?” “Who are you with?”

These actions tend to make us feel loved and thought about. All of these things together can give us butterflies in our stomach…BUT if we’re looking through rose-colored glasses we’re going to miss all the red flags pointing to “DANGER, DANGER!”

Domestic Violence(DV).

This is one of the least talked about epidemics that’s plaguing our world right now. It’s “too taboo” or “too sensitive” to talk about, yet we’re turning a blind eye to it happening all around us, even with our own friends and family.

“1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.” ~ https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS

You may be someone, or you may know someone who falls into this category. One thing I want to point out, all DV isn’t physical. It’s a common misconception that can cause us to miss the signs in our loved ones or even ourselves.

Have you, or someone you know experienced any of the following:

• Being coerced to have sex or raped by your partner

• They have shown extreme jealousy

• Being insulted, demeaned or shamed in front of others

• Prevented from making own decisions

• Controlling finances

• Forcing/coercing you to use drugs or alcohol

• Intimidation through threatening looks/actions

• Destroying or threats to destroy belongings

• Etc…

If you raised your hand to any of the above, you may be or have been involved in an abusive relationship. The list above is not an all-inclusive list, as there are many other signs of abuse.

DV doesn’t just occur in adulthood, our teens can experience it as well, referred to as Teen Dating Violence. Sometimes there are incidents in life that can propel us into toxic/abusive relationships.

For example, I was in 2nd grade when I was first molested by a classmate, and coerced to participate in activities with him. I was 19 when I entered my first abusive relationship. Then aged 29 for the second, which was a lot worse. Neither one became physical, but I was forced to do and participate in things I would never have done on my own.

BUT, we must remember...It’s not just our girls we have to protect, our young men are liable to being abused as well.

The statistics are bound to get worse if we act like everything is ‘OK’ and sexual acts are ‘just normal.’ We must look deeper, ask more questions, and challenge each other to protect, encourage self-love, and eliminate the idolizing of these mainstream toxic relationships that guide us to our worst nightmares.

It takes a village to change the world. Are you ready to join us? The more you know, the more you grow. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or join the fight, that’s the only way we’re going to be able to free those who are trying to get out, and prevent others from entering toxic/abusive relationships.

Shahon Marshall MSW,LCSWA

Beautiful Broken Vessels Founder,CEO